The photo is black and white. I processed it in my parent’s guest bathroom so I know it without having to dig it out. It was taken about 1970 at Denny’s in Newhall, Ca. where I spent the better part of my college days. It was a job I loved, cooking breakfast for travelers while thinking about physics class and coeds not necessarily in that order.

The photo is of me and my then second best friend Alan. My best friends were the coeds mentioned above.

We were both cooks and those were the days when you actually had to know how to cook! Fresh soups, dinner specials, home made dressings… the works! Alan was a reformed car thief. I was headed for med school although I wasn’t certain I would have the patients. (Get it? Patience!)

The cook on the left was clean cut and smiling. The cook on the right had long hair, gold wire-rim glasses, and a Fu Manchu mustache. This cook had once been described by a customer as “the mean-looking cook with the mustache.”

I was the cook on the right.

Now fast forward about thirty years. Today I look more like the reformed car thief.

We work with clients who ask us what to do when the labor pool is tattooed, pierced, and dyed. Little do they realize they are talking to the cook on the right!

I am reminded of an experience from our own restaurant. One early evening we were seated and quickly greeted by a new server we had yet to meet. She was cute as a button, “a good hire” we were thinking. But the happy thoughts evaporated the instant she opened her mouth!

“Would you be so kind and ask Paul our manager to come see us when he has a moment?”

In a matter of seconds smiling Paul appeared as if by magic. “Whassup, Boss?” Paul always calls me “boss” in a voice that sounds as if he has been gargling gravel.

“Your new server is cute and personable…”

“But there’s something you’re not happy with,” he interrupted.

I leaned forward and answered saying, “I was wondering if you could give me an estimate as to how many seconds it will take to get the tongue stud out of her mouth.”

“I’ll take care of it right away! I don’t know how I missed it. I guarantee she didn’t have it in the interview or she wouldn’t be in our uniform.”

I suppose there aren’t any doubts about where I stand. Maybe that’s part of the problem: we have strong feelings… like our customers do… and yet we are afraid to make them known. We don’t want to offend anyone. Fine. Just remember you have a business to run.

The father of a teenage boy we refused to hire because of an unsightly tattoo on his neck showed up the next day demanding to speak with the owner. I had visions of me getting slowly dismembered by the large man I saw through the kitchen door. But I gutted up and went out to face the music.

“My son tells me you won’t hire him unless he has is tattoo removed…”

This guy had hands the size of small hams so I took time to formulate an answer that would help keep all of my personal parts flying in formation.

“Thank-you,” said a smiling face. “I’ve been telling him for months it was going to be a problem and you helped me make the case. Thank-you!”

Now, a little prospective.

Last night Buns and I had a very pleasant dining experience at Texas Roadhouse in Coralville, IA. The hostess discretely chomped on a wad of gum. The kid in the bakery was jamming to his iPod. Our server… who was otherwise terrific… sported an ugly tattoo. (Jimmy Buffet says they are “a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling.” Hair you can cut but, hellooooo, tattoos don’t come off!)

The gum can go into the trash. An upbeat tempo jumping through an iPod might actually make the work go faster. Piercings can come out before the shift starts and tattoos if they are offensive can be covered with long sleeves or long pants.

The key is not so much appearance as it is personality and performance. Customers will forgive a little gum if it comes with a great big smile. A tattoo is less noticeable if the service is impeccable. And you never know what’s on the iPod. You could be dealing with a budding young classical musician!

All that is really important is that you set your hiring standards… and stick to them. And never, ever let the labor market dictate your hiring standards.

You really can find good people and when the word gets around that you aren’t hiring the tattooed, the pierced, or the dyed, parents will be sending their kids to you!

This entry was posted on Monday, July 28th, 2008 at 10:55 am and is filed under Postively Outrageous Service. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.